I think I can, I think I can...WAIT

I know I can, I know I can!!

The days seem to be getting busier and busier, and less about him. I do miss him, I do think about him, but it is SO much easier!

I can survive this, we will survive this! For a while now, I've been in a state of mind where I can't see myself with him, but I can't see myself with anyone else...some days I think if I could just find a friends with benefits, I could survive being single forever. LOL ::wink, wink, nudge nudge:: In all seriousness, I am finally OKAY with it.

With all of that, I have decided today is going to be dubbed *Mama Monday*. Before we got married, I put my friends and family first. Then we got married and it was him and the house first, followed by family and friends. It's never been about ME. Now of course, It's not all about me, but I am second, instead of LAST. If I don't make it about me, who will?!

Chloe will always come first, what she needs, and then of course what I want for her, since she's too young to want for herself. Lol. Then it will be about me! Every week, I am going to do something for me, whether it is going to the movies, or reading a book, or getting a pedicure.

May brings lost of adventures, mother's day, then Chloe's 1st Birthday in which I will be a total crying mess for, then my birthday!! For mother's day, I'm hoping to get myself a tattoo that will represent Chloe. For my birthday, I've decided I want a bike, and a seat to attach to it, so that Chloe can ride with me.

When he left, I knew I wouldn't want to get into another relationship while feeling the way I do about myself. So,I've finally gotten serious about losing weight, and in the last two weeks I've lost 5lbs...it's not a lot, but it's a start! I've changed my eating habits, though I still crave my sweets! I've been walking with Chloe when the weather is nice, and hoping to go on those bike rides!

Since this post is *mama monday*, I will tell you what I've been doing for myself lately. I've gotten highlights, and a new haircut. I bought myself a ring that says 'keep on loving'. It took me a while to find a ring that was 'just right' but I knew when he left that I wanted something to 'replace' my wedding rings. I've been enjoying my candles, walks, my time with chloe, and feeling HUMAN again!!

Almost 5 months now...I never imagined I would be where I'm at, and I'm looking forward to where I will be 5 months from now!